my name is Ed

my name is Ed

... and I am an alcoholic ("Hi, Ed").

That's how one is supposed to introduce oneself at AA meetings. I've only done it twice, since I quit drinking seven years ago. The first time was on the day I quit drinking, the second a few months later when my dad dragged me along to a meeting.

I have never understood the "anonymous" part of AA. In fact, I think that the anonymity just makes it harder for alcoholics to quit. It is as though there ought to be some shame associated with what is really no more than an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Screw that.

AA really didn't help me. Oh sure, there may be people who get some value out of AA meetings; I'm just not one of them.

Instead, what I learned to do is say one simple phrase: "I don't drink". It is amazing how powerful that little phrase is. "C'mon Ed, I'll buy you a beer"..."No, thanks, I don't drink". I have yet to have anyone respond negatively towards that. Matter of fact, the response I usually get is "good for you, wish I could do that".

I still go to bars, I still buy drinks for pretty women - I just don't buy for myself anymore. Now, instead of waking up in the morning (or the afternoon) with a massive hangover, puking up bile, I wake up feeling rested. Now, instead of spending 200 bucks on alcohol for myself, I might spend 30 bucks on liquor for my friends, and end up enjoying myself far more. I also remember everything that happened the night before.

I no longer have to worry about embarassing myself due to alcohol. Now, any foolish stuff I do is done sober. If I get into a fight, I am certain of winning because the other guy is drunk and I'm not - my balance is ten times better than his. If my friends need a ride home after a night out, I can be the designated driver - and I end up feeling pretty good, knowing that my friends got home safe and that I had something to do with that.

I was going to write about my struggle with alcoholism, but it really hasn't been a struggle at all. It is just as easy as saying "I don't drink".